For adults, 18+
Praise kink
A praise kink means being turned on by praise: being told you are doing well, that you are good, that you are wanted. Here is what it is, how it differs from degradation, and a 12-question test of both.
12 questions, about 2 minutes. No sign-up, no email. Your answers stay on this device.
What a praise kink is
Someone with a praise kink finds approval arousing. The words matter more than almost anything else that is happening: “you’re doing so well”, “good”, “just like that”, “I’m proud of you”. For many people it is the difference between enjoying intimacy and being carried away by it.
There are two sides, and this site scores them separately:
- Praise receiver: you light up when a partner says they are pleased with you.
- Praise giver: you enjoy saying it, and watching it land.
Examples
- Wanting a partner to say out loud what they like about what you are doing.
- A phrase such as “good girl” or “good boy” having an effect out of all proportion to its length.
- Trying harder because approval is on offer.
- Replaying a compliment for days.
- On the giving side: guiding a partner with encouragement instead of instructions, and enjoying how they respond.
Praise kink and degradation kink
Degradation is the opposite in tone: enjoying being teased, embarrassed or talked down to inside a scene you agreed to. It is tempting to treat the two as a choice, but they are separate dials. Some people want only warmth. Some want only an edge. A good number want praise for doing well at being teased.
The test above asks three questions about each of the four sides (giving praise, receiving it, giving degradation, receiving it) and shows all four scores.
Bringing it up
This is the easiest kink to ask for. Tell your partner the exact words. If you like giving praise, ask which words they would most like to hear. If either of you also enjoys the sharper side, agree in advance which words are welcome and which are off limits; names that sting in play can sting for real if they land on something sore.
Praise sits inside a wider set of roles. The full kink test scores all 26.
Questions people ask
What is a praise kink?
Finding it arousing to be praised, usually during intimacy: being told you are doing well, that you are good, that you are wanted. Some people have the mirror image and are turned on by giving praise.
What are examples of a praise kink?
Enjoying phrases such as “you’re doing so well”, “good girl” or “good boy”, “just like that” or “I’m proud of you”; wanting a partner to say out loud what they like about you; and working harder at something because approval is on offer.
What is the opposite of a praise kink?
A degradation kink: enjoying being teased, talked down to or humbled in an agreed scene. They are opposites in tone but not in people. Plenty of people enjoy both, and this test scores them separately.
Is a praise kink normal?
It is one of the most common and least risky kinks there is. Liking approval is ordinary; a praise kink is that same wish turning up in the bedroom.
Why do I have a praise kink?
Nobody can tell you for certain, and it does not need a cause to be valid. People often link it to enjoying reassurance, to liking clear feedback, or simply to finding a partner’s approval exciting.
How do I tell my partner I have a praise kink?
Tell them the specific words that work. “I really like it when you tell me I’m doing well” is easy to say and easy to act on. Most partners are glad to be given something so simple to do.